For the record, this is directed towards my personal friends that go to my high school. If you don't want to hear a long, sad rant about friends and love, please change the page.

I'm not sure I like high school much anymore. My friends always transform the minute they enter that building. I had Dakotah over this past Saturday and she was great, even when I was being a bitch because my stomach was hurting, but when she gets to school she acts like I'm always on her back and starts taking sides. Everyone starts getting irrational, and I think the only people with their heads on straight is Emily and Abby. I have to admire them because they're not letting relationships take control of their lives. I'm not talking about their boyfriend or girlfriend, they don't have one, I'm talking about the relationships of their friends. When Morgan and I broke up, everyone was taking sides, whether it be mine or hers. We hated each other for about two months and counting, and everything has just gotten worse since then. Abby doesn't know whose side to take, and Emily just isn't getting involved.
I'm sure I'm not the only one confused about the current series of situations. I've been hearing that Abby wants to stand up for herself, but knowing her, she really can't because she's so shy and sensitive that she's afraid of hurting someone's feelings. I can't talk for my friends though, so I'll just state my problems. I'm getting upset for no apparent reason, and all I want to do is talk bad about people with Emily or Alex. I'll admit, I've always enjoyed talking bad about people, but I never talked bad about my friends until the big breakup. I think The Group is slowly deteriorating, and before Morgan, Kiki, Roselyn, and Sarah graduate, everyone is going to be ready to kill each other. So let me see... There are five couples within our group, which won't do good when we all breakup with each other. Before anyone points it out, no, I do not believe that everyone in The Group that are currently together will marry and live peaceful, loving lives with each other. Odds are that they're rather going to break up due to difficulties during high school, such as graduation (two of the couples involve a junior and a freshman, and one of the couples involve a sophomore and a freshman) or relationship problems, or after high school, where college starts to play a real role in everyone's lives. I think we're getting a little off-task, so let's take an alternate route on the path of my problems.
We all know that if you love someone, you end up saying those dreaded words, "I love you" to your boyfriend or girlfriend. My boyfriend doesn't seem to have a problem with that, but I do. I rarely ever say "I love you" to my mother with a serious tone of voice, so what makes anyone think that I can say it to him? Maybe it's because I'm so easily bothered by what everyone has to say about him, that I just can't sincerely say anything having to do with love to him. If you think this is also quite irrational, which it is, let me at least walk you through my latest entries in the Bethany's Personal Problems book.
First, he has a terrible personality towards people he doesn't like. All around, he's usually a fun person to be with, but there are a lot of times where he's just an ass to everyone, even to his friends. It seems tolerable to me, but a lot of others seem to think otherwise. Recently Dakotah has been a complete bitch to him, even when it's not called for. The bad thing is that she's doing it when I'm not around. It's respectable of her to tell me that she would talk bad about him when I'm not around, but if she even plans to physically hurt any of my friends, I'll cut her in half despite our relationship. Second, Morgan and Sarah have been talking bad about him behind his back, which would be okay if it weren't right in front of me. I understand that Morgan and Ves don't like each other, and her friends will do almost anything for her, but trying to bring me down by talking bad about my boyfriend, knowing that I'm not but three feet away from them, is completely out of line. I have cried and physically hurt myself trying to think of why anyone would want to make me this unhappy. The only thing I've come up with so far is because I broke up with Morgan a few months ago, and even though I waited a month before I got together with Ves, she still hates him because she doesn't have me anymore, and as I said before, her true friends will do anything for her, even if it means bringing me down with her. I got a call from Ves last night telling me that I shouldn't be upset over things like that, because he supposedly doesn't mind. I still can't talk to Morgan anymore because I'm scared of what she'll say. Third, I was texting Tyler the other day, and we somehow got on the topic of Morgan, Ves, and me. Tyler thinks that I was too impulsive leaving Morgan and going to Ves, and that got me really emotional. I started crying, pulling my hair, and reading the text over and over again until I came up with a legit answer. This apparently did not appease Tyler because the conversation went on, and after about an hour and a half, I went from emotional to emotionless. I can't believe he was bitching at me with Dakotah about how I wasn't happy for Brittney and Morgan when they were together. It's not because it's Morgan, if anything I was happy for Brittney more though because she's one of my best friends, but I'm just not romantically enhanced and don't care about who's with who. I might get curious and ask, just for the sake of keeping up with my friends, but I really couldn't care less when and where they breakup. Although I've always wondered why Tyler is so defensive of Morgan, and I found out why on Tuesday. It's because he loves her, and they're currently boyfriend and girlfriend. I'm happy for them, but I don't care.

~Kageabusoru